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MAM Goes BAM

4/29/2013

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The Mayor poses with Vincent Van Gogh at the MAM gala event earlier this month.
The new Mooseville Art Museum re-opened today to an impressed and interested crowd.

"It actually looks like a museum," said Tudy Cool. "I liked the Bees Wing. I knew some of the artists."

MAM promised to wow patrons back in March when they closed their doors to undergo renovations after receiving an anonymous donation. Judging by the local reaction, the museum kept that promise.

"We tried to make sure there was something for everyone," said Anna Curator, head of development for MAM. "We've got some classics and moderns, and then we included local talent in the Bees Wing and with our partners at the Instagallery."

Curator says the only thing still lagging is the coffee bar, but it should be finished sometime this summer.

"We're going to turn cappuccinos and lattes into works of art, but we've got to address some plumbing and barista issues before we offer that service."

For now patrons will have to make do with a solid collection of art, a pretty garden, and free water fountains near the restrooms in every wing.

"We've got a lot of fun things coming up," Curator said. "There's going to be a tree dedication ceremony in the Drew Tyler Gardens in a few weeks, and a couple of traveling exhibits will make a pit stop in Mooseville this fall."

As a token of appreciation to the community for their patience during the renovation process, MAM is offering free admission for all visitors during the first week.
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New Speed Limit Causes Dust Up

4/23/2013

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Residents are warned to slow down!
Some Mooseville residents are not happy with a new speed limit change that took effect last month on the outskirts of town.

"I stir up the dust when I walk," said local crop duster, Pooter Jenkins. "It's not like there's a lot of traffic out here anyhow."

The new speed limit affects Southwest Antler Avenue which connects the urban bustle on Moose Street to the farm country in Google Plus.

Woody Shackles of the Mooseville Police Department said the new speed limit has been put in place to offset the increased traffic he's seen while patrolling the rural area.

"Mooseville's growing, and there's only so much space in town," Shackles said. "We've seen a spike in traffic accidents and congestion out there. Just the other day I had to wait for a good while for a family of ducks to cross the road."

Though the new law has good intentions it has also created confusion among some Moosevillians.

"It's so vague," said Jen Skeptic. "So I can go faster than 5 miles per hour as long as there's no dust?"

Shackles explained. "Five miles per hour is the typical speed to keep dust swirls at a minimum, but during dryer weather you may have to drop it down to two or three."

According to Shackles, having no dust on the road makes it safer for everyone.

"You don't want a dust bowl out there," Shackles said. "You could run smack into a tractor or cow if you're not careful."

Many residents argue that tractors plowing the road and cows roaming the fields are nonexistent issues.

"I've seen one tractor and zero cows," said Skeptic. "And I've been driving this road every day for two weeks."

Shackles said the new speed limit will take time for residents to adjust to but is necessary to keep the road safe.

"It's better to be safe than sorry," Shackles said. "We're just asking Mooseville to watch their dust, that's all."

Motorists, bicyclists, or joggers who don't abide by the speed limit will be subjected to a $200 fine and two days of community service.

"We put an exclamation mark on the sign so people know how serious we are," Shackles said. "It might seem extreme but we have to make people aware that stirring up dust won't be tolerated."

Residents, consider yourself warned.

Story and photo by Lensy Shutters

Lensy Shutters studies Mass Communications at Mooseville University and is interning with us.
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MAM Opening Delayed

4/15/2013

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The grand re-opening of the Mooseville Art Museum has been delayed by two weeks. The gala re-opening event, however, took place as scheduled. MPR's Mary Weather has the story.

MAM Delays Opening

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Anonymous Donor Bets Big On MAM

3/22/2013

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Mooseville Art Museum - March 21, 2013 (photo by Gertie Images)

With the help of a large donation from an anonymous donor the Mooseville Art Museum is closing its doors for the first time in its history to undergo renovations that will take nearly a month to complete.

"It just showed up in the mail. Cash money," said Anna Curator, head of development for MAM. "It was weird cause we never get mail."

Curator says the donation came with instructions requesting the museum either spend the money on renovations or sell to make room for something more useful.

"We've got prime real estate in Mooseville," Curator said. "It's a perk from being here so long. We have had our fair share of offers."

In the last year alone the museum has received offers from five investment groups, all with the intentions of repurposing the land.

"Two wanted to build a casino," Curator said. "Then there was a water park, a harmonica museum, and then Big Lots."

Despite the offers from private developers, Curator says the museum would only consider selling if they had no choice.

"We're not given in that easy," Curator said. "The MAM board of directors is 100% united on this."

Dot Jensen, who has served on the MAM board since its opening, agrees with Curator.

"As long as I'm alive, this museum will not be turned into a casino," Jensen said. "Art is essential for a civilized society, and bringing in Kitty Glitter machines and Black Jack tables would be doing Mooseville a great disservice."

For now the museum doesn't have to worry about selling though their future and the identity of their generous donor still remain a mystery.

"We may never know who sent it," Curator said. "But we're going to try to make the most of it."

The museum is scheduled to reopen to the public on April 15.

Story by: Staff Ryder

Construction workers aim to complete renovations by April 15. (photos by Gertie Images)

Related Stories: MPR - MAM Gets a Make-Over by Mary Weather
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Holiday Card Turns Into Late Night ER Visit

12/21/2012

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Sonoma, California residents go overboard on holiday greeting card.
After spending hours dying their dog for an annual holiday card one Sonoma, California resident winds up in the emergency room after her hand rotted off.

"It just started turning green and then it fell off," said Opie, an eye-witness. "I wanted to bury it, but the other lady had a grip on my collar."

The dog owners used food coloring to dye their mutt, Andy.

"I was so ashamed," said Andy. "Opie just had to wear the antlers. I got the short end of the stick."

After an emergency operation, the owner's hand was reattached and she is home recovering quickly. The dye, on the other hand, has been slow to wear off.

"Serves her right for doing that shit to me," Andy said. "Bah Humbug, assholes."

Looks like the Grinch will have to coexist with the Whos for another Christmas, but maybe next year the Whos will think twice about the depths in which they go for a family portrait.

"Yeah right," said Opie. "Next year they want to do Mary, Mary, and the Three Drag Queens. Guess who'll be playing the part of Baby Jesus?"

Story by Billy Smickles
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Mayor Bans Guns

12/21/2012

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Though it may effect the economy and population, the Mayor is drawing a line when it comes to guns in Mooseville that stretches across city limits.

"We don't want them here," the Mayor said. "Should you choose to bring a firearm with you on vacation, you'll have to leave it with Woody Shackles and the Mooseville Police Department for the length of your stay."

When asked about the backlash from Moosevillians who believe in the right to bear arms, the Mayor stood firm on her decision to ban guns.

"You want to bear arms or arm bears, I don't care, but you're going to have do it someplace else," the Mayor said.

Several members of the community have expressed concern about the radical legislation.

"I've got two shotguns I use for hunting," said Eli Survivor. "They also make me feel a bit safer having them in the house. I need to protect my family."

The Mayor assures residents that the measures, though seemingly extreme, have been taken to ensure public safety.

"I won't overlook public safety as a whole for the few who think they need shotguns to hunt in Mooseville Park," the Mayor explained.

As far as protection goes the Mayor says banning firearms won't eliminate crime, but it will help detour senseless acts of violence.

"Violence can still happen in Mooseville," the Mayor said. "Any idiot can pull a trigger, but if you want to kill someone in Mooseville, you've got to do it old school with a knife, or a shank, a bow and arrow, blunt object, or your bare hands. I'm giving our residents a fighting chance with this legislation."

Residents who own firearms are asked to stop by the Mooseville Police Department to check in their weapons.

Those who refuse to relinquish their firearms will be asked to leave city limits.

"I've crunched the numbers, and I'm prepared to take a hit on our economy," the Mayor said. "But I can't sleep at night knowing that a standard Glock holds 17 rounds of ammunition in one magazine. It would only take seven Glocks, with three rounds to spare, to wipe out Mooseville's entire population, and those are numbers I'm not willing to gamble on."
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The Mayor Wins Re-Election

11/6/2012

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The Mayor casts her vote at the polls Tuesday. Photo by Paul Volunteer.

After a tightly-run campaign, the former mayor of Mooseville is now the new mayor of Mooseville.

"Mini Moose ran a great campaign," the Mayor said. "I tip my hat to her, but I'm relieved the great people of Mooseville trust me with another term."

Mini Moose lead the polls early in the day, but as more voters cast their vote, the tides slowly turned in the Mayor's favor.

Once all the ballots had been counted, the Mayor wound up with 71% of the vote, with Mini Moose only garnering 29%.

Though Mini Moose ran a respectable, and tight-lipped, campaign it wasn't enough to upset the incumbent. In the end, Mini Moose gave a nod as her concession speech and then returned to the privacy of her hotel room.

"I know there are Mini Moose supporters who are a bit disgruntled right now," the Mayor said. "One of my priorities is to build up those relationships. We've got to work across the aisle for the good of Mooseville."

When asked about her plans for working across the aisle during her next term, the Mayor was reluctant to discuss.

"Right now I'm going to celebrate with my friends, family, and supporters. Ask me about that after I've had a drink."
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Election Day 2012

11/6/2012

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Today is election day. All citizens are encouraged to vote.

Voting Booths are open from 7 am - 7 pm (MST). There will be no charge for public transportation during that time so Moosevillians can have access to a ballot no matter where they are in town.

If you haven't done so, please take a few moments to exercise your right to vote for the next mayor of Mooseville.

Mayoral Election Ballot

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Suspicious Voter Activity

11/6/2012

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Underage voter, Ian Asent slips past volunteers to cast his vote.
Despite tight voter ID requirements during this election, some polling places didn't seem as strict about regulations.

"I swear I saw children voting," said Sori Loser. "It's not right. Kids should stick to violent video games and R-rated movies. They have no business voting. They're not mature enough."

With 18 being the legal age to vote, underage residents were left out in the cold this election season.

"I just wanted to feed the ballot into the machine," said 12 year-old, Ian Asent. "I didn't actually vote."

For now, the law prohibits underage voters from participating in the voting process but some say that should change.

"Why can't they vote?" asked Libby Asent, Ian's mother. "I'm trying to establish some pride about our right to vote, but then I got some sour face busybody trying to get up in my business."

Maybe one day all citizens will have a vote no matter their age, race, gender, or religion. For now the voting age stays put at 18, which means for children wanting to vote, like most things, they'll have to wait until they're older.
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The Mayoral Race Heats Up

10/24/2012

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The Mayor

Mini Moose

As Moosevillians head to the polls next month for the mayoral election, many are still undecided about who they will vote for.

"The Mayor's done a lot of things for Mooseville," said Edgar Flügenhärgen, mechanic for Mooseville Auto Imports. "But I haven't agreed with everything that's happened over the past few years. Not by a long shot."

For the first time in Mooseville history, an opposition candidate has entered the race.

Since her inception in Mooseville Laboratories, Mini Moose has caused a stir in the Mayor's office, and now with a strong grass roots following, is vying for the Mayor's job.

"I like her style," said Imma Posed, Campaign Manager for Mini Moose. "She's always got a smile, and I think we could use more of that attitude and those values in Mooseville."

Not everyone is excited about Mini Moose's political ambitions. Although things have been quiet recently, many residents haven't forgotten the decisions Mini Moose made while the Mayor was away on sabbatical earlier this year.

"She outlawed coconut," said Anita Pepper, Mooseville Café chef. "There were plenty of unhappy people in Mooseville that week, and it cost my business a lot of money, to boot."

When asked about her erratic and impulsive decision-making skills, Posed said that Mini Moose was too busy campaigning to answer any immediate questions.

Increased traffic, education, and redrawing Mooseville district lines to include Instagram have all been major issues discussed this election year.

"It's not easy running Mooseville," the Mayor said. "Two weeks ago something went wrong and our Twitter community wasn't getting posts in a timely manner. It took some un-linking and re-linking, but we finally got it squared away. I seriously doubt my opponent would know what to do in that situation."

When asked why voters should vote for her, the Mayor was elusive but passionate.

"I'm running for re-election because I love Mooseville," the Mayor said. "And my four-point plan will ensure that we continue to grow and that the great people of Mooseville will continue to prosper."

Whether she's re-elected or Moosevillians give the opposition a shot instead, the Mayor says what's important is the voting process.

"There's nothing more patriotic, more empowering, or more important than exercising your right to vote," the Mayor says. "I'm hoping for 100% turnout come Nov. 6."
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