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Nightclub Not Welcome In Neighborhood

8/23/2012

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A nightclub has sprung up on the corner of Black and White Avenue in Zebraton, but not all residents are happy with the new neighbors.

"I have foals," said Paul Stripes. "I don't want them exposed to the kinds of shenanigans that happen at those places."

Stripes isn't the only resident concerned about the "element" the Humped Zebra Crossing nightclub will attract.

"It just looks bad," Jane Hooves said. "And they keep pretty late hours and it gets loud. I've got to work in the morning."

City officials say they are investigating the matter to see if the business is in violation of zoning laws, but as it stands now the Humped Zebra will remain open for business despite resident complaints.

When asked about the community's reaction, Humped Zebra owner Rex Reigns didn't seemed bothered by the lack of support.

"I wasn't exactly expecting them to bring me an apple pie," Reigns said. "I'm here to give my customers a good time. If zebras who aren't my customers don't like it, fuck 'em. They can move."

For now the Humped Zebra is the new kid on an unwelcoming block, but with Reign's community relations attitude it's only a matter of time before he makes tens of friends.

Story by Lensy Shutters
Liverpool, England

Lensy Shutters studies Mass Communications at Mooseville University and is interning with us.
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