By: Lensy Shutters
Though there are many local heroes living among us, Mooseville is the last place one would look for an international pop icon and superhero. We are a quaint town, off the map in comparison to bigger, busier, and more glamorous places, but that seems to be the very thing that Wonder Woman is looking for.
News of Wonder Woman’s relocation to Mooseville has spread through town like a virus. Since her arrival, she has been spotted twice on Moose Street, both times leaving Between the Antlers adult novelty store, but residents admit they were too afraid to approach her.
“She just seemed a bit stand-offish,” said Whit Ness, Mooseville resident. “Like she’d kick you in the face if you asked for an autograph.”
Residents are wise to keep their distance. During a recent interview with Mooseville News Network, Wonder Woman became aggressive and demanded that the interview be terminated.
At a press conference formally announcing the news, the Mayor remained positive about Wonder Woman’s decision to reside in Mooseville. The Mayor also reassured residents that Wonder Woman would not be asked to assist in local crime-fighting.
When asked whether or not the Mooseville Police Department could protect citizens from Wonder Woman, the Mayor admitted the feat would be difficult.
“I’m not going to lie to you,” the Mayor said. “Wonder Woman, though a tad bit out of shape, would be a formidable opponent for our police force, but I have full faith in Woody Shackles and our officers. I know they can handle just about anything.”
Despite the Mayor’s confidence, many residents have doubts about their safety now that Wonder Woman has moved to town.
“She could just tie us up with that lasso and make us give her our passwords and pin numbers and stuff,” said Mooseville resident, Alma Worries. “She looks like she’s hit rock bottom. You never know what someone like that will do.”
Other residents are more positive and believe Wonder Woman’s cold shoulder will thaw with time. Polly Hopeful, Mooseville High student, says Wonder Woman just needs time to get acquainted.
“Just leave her alone. She moved here for a reason. Let’s not make her regret that decision,” Hopeful says. “Let’s show her this was a great decision. Let’s show her that Mooseville is wonder-ful, too.”
Regardless of whether or not Wonder Woman embraces Mooseville, her presence here has already changed the community. Blogger Holler resident, Poor Guy says his brush with fame left a bad taste in his mouth.
“I guess I was a bit naive to think she’d stop and help me change my tire,” Guy said. “She just kept on walking. I mean, I know it was raining and all, but a Good Samaritan extending a helping hand sure would have been appreciated.”
Despite the incident Guy says he doesn’t have ill feelings towards Wonder Woman. He says she’s done many positive things for the world and has made a huge impact on his own life.
“We see these celebrities on our screens, and we think we know them, but we don’t,” Guy said. “It’s just a role they’re playing, make-believe, and I think regular folks like me tend to forget that. It was nice to be reminded. Made me think my life isn’t all that bad. It might not be glamorous and filled with paparazzi, but hey, things could definitely be worse.”
Watch full interview with Wonder Woman on MNN