Wonder Woman Offers Mooseville a Reality Check
By: Lensy Shutters

Though there are many local heroes living among us, Mooseville is the last place one would look for an international pop icon and superhero. We are a quaint town, off the map in comparison to bigger, busier, and more glamorous places, but that seems to be the very thing that Wonder Woman is looking for.

News of Wonder Woman’s relocation to Mooseville has spread through town like a virus. Since her arrival, she has been spotted twice on Moose Street, both times leaving Between the Antlers adult novelty store, but residents admit they were too afraid to approach her.

“She just seemed a bit stand-offish,” said Whit Ness, Mooseville resident. “Like she’d kick you in the face if you asked for an autograph.”

Residents are wise to keep their distance. During a recent interview with Mooseville News Network, Wonder Woman became aggressive and demanded that the interview be terminated.

Since the incident, Wonder Woman has denied interviews with local media.

At a press conference formally announcing the news, the Mayor remained positive about Wonder Woman’s decision to reside in Mooseville. The Mayor also reassured residents that Wonder Woman would not be asked to assist in local crime-fighting.

When asked whether or not the Mooseville Police Department could protect citizens from Wonder Woman, the Mayor admitted the feat would be difficult.

“I’m not going to lie to you,” the Mayor said. “Wonder Woman, though a tad bit out of shape, would be a formidable opponent for our police force, but I have full faith in Woody Shackles and our officers. I know they can handle just about anything.”

Despite the Mayor’s confidence, many residents have doubts about their safety now that Wonder Woman has moved to town.

“She could just tie us up with that lasso and make us give her our passwords and pin numbers and stuff,” said Mooseville resident, Alma Worries. “She looks like she’s hit rock bottom. You never know what someone like that will do.”

Other residents are more positive and believe Wonder Woman’s cold shoulder will thaw with time. Polly Hopeful, Mooseville High student, says Wonder Woman just needs time to get acquainted.

“Just leave her alone. She moved here for a reason. Let’s not make her regret that decision,” Hopeful says. “Let’s show her this was a great decision. Let’s show her that Mooseville is wonder-ful, too.”

Regardless of whether or not Wonder Woman embraces Mooseville, her presence here has already changed the community. Blogger Holler resident, Poor Guy says his brush with fame left a bad taste in his mouth.

“I guess I was a bit naive to think she’d stop and help me change my tire,” Guy said. “She just kept on walking. I mean, I know it was raining and all, but a Good Samaritan extending a helping hand sure would have been appreciated.”

Despite the incident Guy says he doesn’t have ill feelings towards Wonder Woman. He says she’s done many positive things for the world and has made a huge impact on his own life.

“We see these celebrities on our screens, and we think we know them, but we don’t,” Guy said.  “It’s just a role they’re playing, make-believe, and I think regular folks like me tend to forget that. It was nice to be reminded. Made me think my life isn’t all that bad. It might not be glamorous and filled with paparazzi, but hey, things could definitely be worse.”

Watch full interview with Wonder Woman on MNN

The Mooseville Arts Council (MAC) has issued a public advisory warning residents and visitors that the likelihood of coming into contact with the arts in Mooseville during the month of October is high and that the infection could be contagious.

"We try to celebrate the arts year round, but for Artober we have to step up our game," said Marsha Clementine, MAC president. "We're hoping all our residents catch the bug."

Artober is a month-long celebration of arts and artists. Cities across the country take part in their own celebrations, but this is the first time Mooseville has participated.

"With the MAM renovations and new MOP programming, our artist community has grown tremendously in the last year," Clementine said. "What's equally impressive is the interest in the arts among the community as a whole has grown a lot, too."

Clementine says residents can expect a slew of activities including a photo and short story contest, a film festival, and the unveiling of a new exhibit at Mooseville Art Museum.

When asked about specific dates for activities, Clementine was allusive.

"The annual MAC Halloween photo celebration details have been posted on our website. Residents can start hashtagging Mooseville Halloween right now. The rest is TBA."

When pressed for dates for the new art exhibit, MAM director of development, Anna Curator said details would be revealed closer to Halloween.

"We're very excited about partnering with MAC for Artober," Curator added. "We've got a great exhibit for our patrons. I can't tell you the name or when we'll unveil it, but I will say it's going to be horrifically delightful."

Though event planners say they're excited about upcoming activities, their tight-lipped approach about specific details has created skepticism among some Moosevillians.

"I don't see why we can't just have a community calendar like other folks," said Skip Tickle. "Film festival? We don't even have a movie theater. Seems like a bunch of smoke and mirrors, if you ask me."

Event organizers assure residents plenty of art will be provided during the month of October.

"We might not have a movie theater right now, but we've got public interest, a team of dedicated volunteers, and plenty of public space," said Clementine. "That's all the arts need."

For residents interested in attending and participating in Artober activities, Clementine says social media and the MAC homepage are the best sources for information.

Whether residents and visitors like it or not, the arts are about to rain on our town. It's hard to predict if we'll get pelted all month long or if it will merely drizzle. If event organizers can fulfill their promises, we might just get a downpour.

Story by: Lensy Shutters

MAC website

The Mayor is scheduled to give the first of two live reads from her latest novel, The Monarch's Story: Becoming A Warrior, from 8 - 8:32 pm (MST) on July 7 at Beatnik Books.

Beatnik Books will stream the podcast for those who can't be in attendance.

The second reading is planned for late September, but dates have not been confirmed.

In a drunken escapade in Las Vegas last week, Dumbo gets a tattoo that makes Disney executives say enough is enough.

It's been no secret that ever since Timothy Q. Mouse first introduced Dumbo to the drink back in 1941, that Dumbo's struggled with addiction.

"I was just trying to make him smile," said Mouse, a long-time friend. "I didn't know it would lead to this."

The transgression was slow at first.

"We'd go out a few times a week to blow off some steam," Mouse said. "But then, a few nights became every night, and then suddenly you're making some really poor decisions."

Under order from Disney executives, Dumbo checked into The Canyon in Malibu, California Wednesday for alcohol abuse.

Dumbo isn't the first celebrity to darken the door of the famous rehab center. Britney Spears, Whitney Houston, Drew Barrymore, Lindsay Lohan, John Belushi, Robin Williams, Elton John, Ozzy Osbourne, Robert Downey, Michael Jackson, Kelly Osbourne, Winona Ryder and Eminem have all sought treatment at The Canyon.

"I just hope he gets the help he needs," Mouse said. "He's a hell of an elephant, and I would hate to see something like this ruin all that."

Dumbo is expected to stay in rehab for three months. As far as the elaborate tattoo, it looks as if the beloved elephant will have a permanent reminder of how important sobriety is.

Story by Lensy Shutters
Singapore Art Museum - Singapore

Lensy Shutters studies Mass Communications at Mooseville University and is interning with us.

Barbara Millicent Roberts (Barbie) sat down with the Mooseville Journal Record to discuss everything from Ken and dating to being a virgin and playing by the rules in this exclusive interview that dares to ask: Who is the real Barbie?